Why did I disappear? Recap 2019

As you guys could see by now I restarted my blog and Instagram as Mademoiselle Panka and you voted in my stories that you want to know where I was in the last 7 months and why I disappeared.

So here is what happened:

I simply got fed up of being a makeup artist and I was really disappointed in the industry in general. All the stepping on eachother’s feet… competition, jealousy… I felt like no matter how hard I try and how much effort I put into it people just didn’t take me seriously because I am only using cruelty-free, natural makeup products.

They were talking down on me like I use toys for kids and I’m not even a real artist…

Now I know, they only reflected their insecurities on me as they don’t take their own health and the environmental issues seriously.

And on my part, I gave too much credit to people’s opinion. And I burnt out.

So, I quit being a makeup artist and shut down my blog as I lost interest in makeup in general, packed my little backpack and went to travel in Europe for two months.

In the meantime I started a podcast where I shared on self-developement in hungarian, but I quickly realized that I am much more of a visual creator and I enjoy pictures, videos and written material more.

I started my Europe trip in Barcelona, than went to Hungary to say hi to my friends and family.

Than I went to Frankfurt to see more family, Berlin to see my friend and her new-born baby, back to Hungary for a month with a short trip to Serbia.

Before coming back to Montreal I went to London to visit my friends too.

Ever since I’m back I had the thought to restart my blog but I couldn’t really figure out how I want it to be and how I could use my insta+blog as a form of self-expression, yet to still serve the community and help others.

It’s still not 100% figured out and I’m debating whether to start a Pinterest and do videos for Youtube too.

I’m going to be sharing still about clean beauty, so as eco fashion, as I interpret it. There will be posts about self-love and whatever comes along the way that you guys will request from me.

I will be keep sharing positive messages and would like to work more on finding a way to better communicate with you guys.

I’m so glad to see how happy you guys were about my returning! It really means a lot to me!

Panka x